


Present Tense

by romanticalgirl



Series: Monthly Challenge Fics [1]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 04:43:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete and Mikey in the present tense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Present Tense

Pete DMs Mikey three times a week. Most of the time he doesn’t say much of anything, and most of the time Mikey doesn’t say anything back. But he did come to the show in LA, which was more than Pete expected. He came alone, which is Mikey’s way of respecting Pete’s history with Alicia, but it seems strange nonetheless. Everything Pete’s seen of Mikey lately has been in conjunction with Sarah and his relationship with her. 

Which makes it really nice to see him face to face. 

They don’t get much more than time for a hug and a photo or two and the promise to meet up later. Pete’s got a little bit of downtime planned when he’ll be home, and he promises Mikey they’ll get together for coffee or sushi or sushi and coffee. And green tea ice cream. 

It takes a couple of months, and Mikey’s still not answering Pete’s messages, but he’s being more public – getting his picture taken in conjunction with making music again. Pete understands how music makes things better. Normally it makes things better, but not always, but it seems to be. Sometimes it’s nice for people to look at you and see the things you’ve done well and not the things you’ve fucked up beyond measure.

Pete lets Mikey know he’s going to be in LA for a couple of weeks, and is surprised when he gets a response asking him to meet for lunch. He agrees immediately, and hates himself a little for wondering what’s wrong. He doesn’t ask, which he attributes to his new-found maturity, even though it’s probably more that he’s afraid of the answers. He has to ask enough questions he doesn’t really want to know the answers to now that he’s a dad and pretty much a solo-parent. He’ll leave the ones he can avoid alone.

They meet at a hole in the wall restaurant Pete discovered when they were recording back in the early days. It’s still the same owners, and probably still the same dirt all over everything. The coffee’s decent and the sushi is amazing, and they actually sell green tea Kit-Kats, which makes everything worth it. Mikey’s there when Pete shows up, so Pete gets a chance to look him over and see what’s changed.

Mikey’s thinner. He’s wearing a full forearm sweatband still, covering up his tattoo. He’s wearing a trucker cap that Pete’s convinced used to be Patrick’s, and a blue hockey jersey. He looks nervous and his glasses seem to take up half his face. “Hey. Is it still the year of the snake?”

Mikey starts and looks up, and he looks almost hunted. Pete’s familiar with the look, and it makes his stomach hurt and his chest ache. “Oh. Um. Yeah. I think so.” Mikey focuses on the placemat in front of him and lets his hand move around the circle of the Chinese zodiac. The owners figure the American public doesn’t care that the zodiac is Chinese and they’re Japanese, and they’re probably right. Plus they got the placemats at a huge discount. Pete asked once. Pete watches Mikey’s finger as it moves. He has long, delicate hands, but they’re big too. “Yeah. Snake.”

“I have no idea what that actually means.” Pete walks over and sits down across from Mikey. There’s already a pot of tea on the table, so Pete pours himself some. There’s a bottle of sake on Mikey’s side of the table that Pete doesn’t comment on. He assumes it’s nerves, and if it isn’t, it’s not really Pete’s place to comment. It might have been years ago, but there’s a lot of water under the bridge, and the wood of the bridge itself is a little singed.

“Me either.” Mikey takes a sip from his cup and then rubs his hands on his thighs. “Hi. Thanks for meeting me.”

“Absolutely. Never too busy for my Mikeyway.” They both know that’s actually lip-service, but they also know that if Mikey called Pete and _needed_ him, Pete would be there. That’s who Pete is. “What’s up, duder?”

“Oh. You know. This and that. S...Sarah and I are good. And being a step-dad kind of dude is great. I mean, he’s super smart and funny and fun. Work too. I’m exhausted a lot. I don’t know how you do it.”

“It’s easier once they grow up a little. Then it’s all mental exhaustion, because they know so much more than you. Bronx is way less hyper than I probably was though. It’s amazing my mom didn’t smother me in my sleep.”

Mikey laughs, and it’s not quite real, but it’s better than Pete expects it to be. Just for a moment he allows himself to think about the Mikey’s laugh in the darkness and he has to smile. Mikey tilts his head, but doesn’t ask. “What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?”

“Coming back from the dead.”

Pete stiffens until he realizes Mikey means it metaphorically. “I didn’t, really. I mean, the guy I am now is so different than the guy I was when we took the break. Now I’m the guy who has a kid that he takes care of most of the time, and divorced, and living with an amazing girl. I’m the guy who doesn’t have to be the only one in the spotlight anymore. Ash took most of the spotlight with her.”

“You came out on the right side of the divorce.”

“There is no right side.” He says it much sharper than he means to, but he can’t help it. It’s something that still hurts, a thorn stuck in his heart. “There’s the side where she hurts and the side where I hurt. She’s getting married again, and I keep wondering what it is that this guy has that...that’s better than what I had. And maybe she feels that way about Meagan. I don’t know. But no matter where I am now or who I’m with, those papers _hurt_.”

“I know.” Mikey’s voice is soft, regretful. “I just meant you weren’t the bad guy. Not in public.”

“That’s because everyone knew all along that she should have known better than to marry an over-hyped, immature, certifiable freak.” He shrugs. It’s been years now, but it still doesn’t change. Whatever the reasons that were on the paper – his and hers and theirs – in his head it’s all always boiled down to him. Somehow at the base of everything, it’s him. The root of the problem.

“That’s not who you are.”

Pete shrugs and drinks more tea then refills his cup. The waiter comes over and they both order without looking at the menu. They never get what they order anyway, but what they get is always delicious, so it works out okay. When he walks off, Pete stares at the picture on the wall behind Mikey’s head. He thinks it’s supposed to be someone famous, but he’s got no idea who it is. 

“I miss you.”

That jerks Pete’s gaze back to Mikey. “What?”

“I miss you.”

“I text you three times a week. At _least_. You never answer.”

“Because then you’ll want to talk and hang out and I don’t know what to say anymore, because you’re in a different world than I am now. And I don’t want people to see us together and see you through the same lens they see me through. I don’t want to get you...tarnished.”

“There’s a whole ‘pot calling the kettle black’ joke in there, but I’m not even going to try.” Pete sets his hands on the table and looks Mikey in the eye. “I don’t care what people see. I don’t care what they think. I care what _you_ think, Mikey. Because we’re friends. I don’t know those people. I know you. You matter. Not them.”

“You can say that now. You’re a golden boy. TV show and your song is everywhere and you’re a super dad. All people know about me anymore is that I’m the asshole that got outed cheating on his wife because his girlfriend posted pictures on Instagram.”

“That’s not what happened though.” 

“Not completely.” Mikey shrugs. “But close enough to be truthful around here.”

“And you think I care.” He says it carefully and it’s not exactly a question, but it’s something Mikey has to answer one way or the other. And it’s one of the most loaded things Pete’s ever said. 

“No.” Mikey shrugs. “But I think you should.”

“But I don’t. And I won’t. And if I ever do, I hope someone punches me in the dick. What the fuck, Mikey? If people stopped being my friend because I fucked up, I wouldn’t know a fucking soul in the universe who liked me. You’ve got shit going on. I understand that. Believe me, I _get_ that. But you don’t get to assume I’m going to walk away because of it.”

“I wanted to give you the chance.”

“So you could feel like you deserve it?” Pete snaps the words before he can make himself stop, before he can change the tone. “You want to feel shitty or bad about yourself or guilty or whatever, you do it, Mikey. You feel whatever you want to feel about yourself. But don’t you dare try to justify whatever it is by pushing it off on me.” He takes a deep breath and forces himself to speak calmly. “Own it. Whatever it is, Mikey. Whether you hate yourself or feel guilty or feel guilty that you don’t feel guilty. Just own it, because you’re not going to be able to function until you do.”

“Does that mean I will be able to function if I do?”

“No.” He doesn’t say anything else, but he smiles when Mikey starts to laugh. It’s his real laugh. The stupid, squeaky laugh that snorts out of his nose and shows his crooked teeth. “Now. Let’s talk about other stuff. Music. And cars and hot chicks and shit.”

“You don’t know anything about cars.”

Mikey relaxes and Pete tries to look offended. He probably just looks constipated. “I’ve seen the _Fast and the Furious_ series like fifty times. I’m going to grow up to be The Rock.”

“That would be fucking _awesome_.”

Pete nods as the waiter brings out their sushi. “Right?”


End file.
